One FTE – impressions of a corporate life

the restored and annotated archive — 831 comics

Archive

The restored and annotated archive of OneFTE: impressions of corporate life, revisited years later.

  1. performance review time
  2. contractor sabotage
  3. Facebook faceplant
  4. curiosity killed the contractor
  5. deity’s delegations
  6. perception is reality
  7. headphone heaven
  8. parental pride
  9. for a good cause
  10. four to a page
  11. not in my job description
  12. luddites lament
  13. pay attention, class
  14. all I want for Christmas
  15. Dear Diary
  16. I see more work coming
  17. 360° feedback
  18. living the dream
  19. culling the herd
  20. vanishing value-add
  21. IT just want to be loved
  22. future of telecommuting
  23. are we there yet?
  24. Open plan hierarchy
  25. I knew it
  26. an engaging theory
  27. call me, call me now
  28. power steering
  29. financials and feelings
  30. interview tip #1
  31. pilfering paperclips
  32. I am not your mother
  33. the Inclemency Principle
  34. bad altitude
  35. first in, first served
  36. mine is bigger than yours
  37. anyone for coffee?
  38. when meeting organisers dream
  39. money or the box?
  40. Web 2.0 is not a toy
  41. game on
  42. when I grow up
  43. same page, different book
  44. putting the con in conference
  45. the simple life
  46. by the numbers
  47. higher power
  48. drop and give me twenty
  49. silver lining
  50. final minutes
  51. bowled over
  52. typo trauma
  53. is anyone listening?
  54. print run
  55. absence makes the heart grow guilty
  56. I know what girls like
  57. the father, the son, and the hairy ewok
  58. you are your adjectives
  59. bad spell
  60. something to hide, or nothing to say?
  61. retro reference
  62. welcome to corporate life
  63. flipping the bird at potential
  64. let’s call it twitter
  65. Lets call it Twitter
  66. I’d love to help, but …
  67. karma.com
  68. minutes away from bankruptcy
  69. we will miss you
  70. are we clear?
  71. applicable academics
  72. leaping to conclusions
  73. Secret to engaging staff
  74. it says more about you
  75. Generation Why
  76. clothes maketh the man
  77. dark times ahead
  78. pay-as-you-go-slow
  79. missed targets? you’re grounded
  80. call us. call us now
  81. you want what?
  82. phone app of the year
  83. exit, stage left
  84. if they’re not churning, you’re not earning
  85. not everybody goes to meetings
  86. failure is an option
  87. for the greater good
  88. cost vs benefit
  89. benefit of the doubt
  90. who said what?
  91. you had to ask
  92. rewarding tenure
  93. econo-masochism
  94. comparable conditioning
  95. delegating diaries
  96. pesky profits
  97. corporate cull-ture
  98. don’t call us, we’ll call you
  99. Dunning-Kruger
  100. constructive feedback
  101. Earth hour
  102. pedant’s perspective
  103. perfect approximation
  104. April fool
  105. blame culture
  106. pointless
  107. be vewy, vewy quiet
  108. which way is up?
  109. referential treatment
  110. Princess to talent ratio
  111. kudos for caring
  112. outstanding work
  113. it’s a blog’s life
  114. same team, different game
  115. let’s go shopping
  116. silo, silo, it’s off to work we go
  117. surf’s up
  118. working together-ish
  119. not everyone’s a fisherman
  120. in a puff of smoke
  121. trusting fools
  122. whiteboard archeology
  123. Devil’s advocate
  124. if I told you, I’d have to kill you
  125. everybody lies
  126. knowing makes it that much harder
  127. communication should be this simple
  128. relatively helpful
  129. best of luck
  130. another dollar
  131. the only way is up
  132. hot little number
  133. what’re you worth?
  134. call it how you see it
  135. propping up your argument
  136. worth your salt
  137. saving files, not lives
  138. web 2.0 whereabouts
  139. recruiter’s spin cycle
  140. captive audience
  141. comms cup runneth over
  142. on your own? really?!
  143. presenteeism: go home, drama queen
  144. burning the midnight LCD
  145. Y are people so unkind
  146. what’s in it for me?
  147. my first time
  148. end of the world
  149. sorry, did I wake you?
  150. spare the rod
  151. fatal forecasts
  152. the weakest link
  153. corporate coming of age
  154. passing the time
  155. margin of error
  156. oh, how the grass was greener
  157. if only
  158. IT’s just a big misunderstanding
  159. secremediation
  160. Secremediation
  161. best of a bad bunch
  162. when everyone wants to be you
  163. a word from our sponsor
  164. from helpful to hindrance
  165. what goes up has already come down
  166. back in the day
  167. so, that’s why I’m here?
  168. warning: flammable bridge ahead
  169. you keep telling yourself that
  170. woe is me
  171. single point of hero
  172. if you don’t like the heat
  173. a good time was had by some
  174. ROI has an R in it
  175. negotiation: you’re doing it wrong
  176. if you don’t ask, you don’t get
  177. go on help yourself
  178. a question of meetings
  179. Why I dont like Mondays
  180. Personal Values
  181. I am legend
  182. Makin me look bad
  183. Whats your game plan
  184. itll cost this much ish
  185. to catch a thief
  186. im assuming youre ok with this
  187. sometimes its who you dont know
  188. looking to buy in a sellers market
  189. and justice for all
  190. not out to get you or are they
  191. RACI wont save you
  192. tool for the job
  193. left smarting
  194. welcome back now shush
  195. superman need not apply
  196. you dont call you dont write
  197. customer self service
  198. yay for me I guess
  199. hungry for detail
  200. the not winners
  201. the emperors new slogan
  202. tweetable MBA
  203. honesty is for the weak
  204. gently does it
  205. didnt see it coming
  206. talent to torment ratio
  207. oh I see
  208. whinging your way to the top
  209. you asked who for what how
  210. I am what Im
  211. meeting bait
  212. feeling argumentative
  213. your opinion matters for a while
  214. making it look easy
  215. you wont be cool if you dont
  216. having a bad day theres a surprise
  217. no please tell me more
  218. whatever
  219. have training will travel
  220. the jackson 5 were wrong
  221. tick tock talent
  222. how could they
  223. success what are the odds
  224. if a man works in the office
  225. comfort food
  226. Staff where for art thou
  227. Doers and Thinkers Part 1 of 2
  228. Doers and Thinkers Part 2 of 2
  229. Train the Trainers please
  230. early bird gets the score
  231. what about me
  232. not for profit but for glory
  233. opportunity cost cutting
  234. Karma Kompensation
  235. theres something about contractors
  236. while stocks and us last
  237. a decade of dozing
  238. read it and weep
  239. what are we here for
  240. liar liar pants on fire
  241. this time its personal
  242. big shoes less comfortable than small ones
  243. evil isnt easy
  244. the pacifying effect of progress
  245. what doesnt kill you can still feel like it
  246. a pitcher of health
  247. generation human
  248. laughing at you not with you
  249. who said that
  250. are we having funds yet
  251. what do i have to do to make you happy
  252. Career going through a bad spell
  253. clearly impossible
  254. do you remember your first
  255. zero intolerance
  256. making the short list
  257. do we have time for this
  258. you gotta tell em companies are people
  259. better than nothing
  260. office gym rule 1
  261. the branson myth
  262. old dog new tricks
  263. Simple Social Media Guidelines
  264. sorry didnt see you there
  265. saved by the bell
  266. whats your personal brand
  267. attention salespeople everywhere
  268. too many secrets
  269. if you were a fruit what would you be
  270. when the market speaks listen
  271. im right arent i
  272. i wont tell if you wont
  273. People are less impressed than you think
  274. hey arent i the customer here
  275. target markets
  276. cant stress this enough
  277. the jokes on you
  278. Act your age
  279. Dont try this at home
  280. the power of ish
  281. quality time
  282. standard issue
  283. if the shoe fits
  284. more is more
  285. the problem with self improvement
  286. what do you know
  287. psychometric profiling in perspective
  288. no such thing as a stupid idea
  289. how loyal are you really
  290. your mother lied
  291. world weary wonder
  292. let those without sin cast the first search
  293. the value of stretch goals
  294. across the board
  295. they probably sleep better than you too
  296. working in neverland
  297. making the shortlist
  298. any similarities are obviously coincidental
  299. development for dummies
  300. bring me solutions not problems
  301. I dont recall
  302. I hope youre helping
  303. meeting expectations
  304. hungry for more
  305. theres one born every minute
  306. what do you actually do around here
  307. growing pains
  308. I think they call that hope
  309. Not I Robot
  310. its good to share
  311. try not to think about it
  312. money talks
  313. Keyboard Cardio
  314. presenting is not an endurance sport
  315. true but dont call them monkeys
  316. time for fun
  317. you get what you agree to
  318. improving data quality in one easy step
  319. because I said so thats why
  320. the issue with risks
  321. lessons from the swoosh
  322. its your fault they suck
  323. the self fulfilling prophecy of project management
  324. your numbers up
  325. patience is not a virtue
  326. safe as offices
  327. its not so bad
  328. nobody knows you like we do
  329. its just a jump to the left
  330. sick of detail
  331. good grief its gen y
  332. semantic love
  333. executive remuneration
  334. an ode to plodders
  335. yes now what was the question
  336. a sign the interview isnt going well
  337. still friends
  338. taking the day off line
  339. killing with kindness
  340. playin the open plan blues
  341. who is to blame really
  342. forget I said anything
  343. Flattery will get you everywhere
  344. self worth only matters if youre paying
  345. when youre so good youre bad
  346. managing to lead
  347. your own worst enemy
  348. no holiday heaven
  349. youre making us look bad
  350. what are you talking about
  351. do you feel lucky
  352. was it something I said
  353. why improvement programs fail
  354. no reference to the truth
  355. you for sale
  356. defined by exception
  357. because the consultant said so thats why
  358. im so misunderstood
  359. consensus has a downside
  360. not in so many words
  361. better the devil you know
  362. the good the bad and the any
  363. one fte just keeps on giving
  364. I guarantee life isnt that simple
  365. what do your hobbies say about you
  366. a touchy subject
  367. email readability test
  368. all metrics are not created equal
  369. what do you have to say for yourself
  370. merry christmas from one fte
  371. twice as good as bad
  372. perfect passwords
  373. please explain
  374. a market needs a product
  375. brand status
  376. a simple case of goodbye
  377. strategy to structions
  378. too good to need me
  379. what happens in vegas stays in facebook
  380. maybe its time to turn pro
  381. only the good leave young
  382. theres comfort in comeuppance
  383. eleven out of ten
  384. ill get my people to talk to your people
  385. The KISS Principle Keep It Stupid Simpleton
  386. Who knew you were that good
  387. Funny thing about outsourcers
  388. Back to Work in Body Mind Spirit
  389. Keeping it all in perspective
  390. we need to talk
  391. ring your mother instead
  392. You dont hate your job really
  393. a level of understanding
  394. I hear you
  395. making them feel special
  396. can i have that in writing
  397. admit youre wrong save us all
  398. do good things come to those who wait
  399. you wouldnt read about it
  400. recruitment guarantees to annoy
  401. what arent you telling me
  402. process that
  403. This is not a democracy
  404. no
  405. why I dont help people
  406. just how sick are you
  407. who can blame him
  408. why its ok if your job sucks
  409. will engage for food
  410. no early mark for you
  411. you cant consult until youre 30 at least
  412. If an Employee whines in an empty office is there a problem
  413. So you want to be a manager
  414. the problem with committees
  415. what have I done with my corporate life
  416. unhappy I can deal with
  417. quotas for female board members
  418. art imitates corporate life
  419. sir they still want to know why sir
  420. trust me more money would help
  421. would more money help
  422. no one to blame but yourself
  423. managing is not a team sport
  424. work life balance
  425. youre not going anywhere are you
  426. you have the right to remain nuts
  427. the power of appointment
  428. um err well
  429. perfection eventually
  430. do you believe in the bell curve
  431. go you good thing
  432. think
  433. once upon a time
  434. when life gives you lemons
  435. what percentage gets the point
  436. we must be paying them for something right
  437. Get in the game
  438. will you recommend me
  439. content is not a dirty word
  440. a guide to human resource planning
  441. estimating top down or bottom up
  442. we had such high hopes for you
  443. going into bat for you
  444. you have a decision to make
  445. what dont you know
  446. wheres a mirror when you need one
  447. how to lose your sheen
  448. how to get paid more really
  449. you smooth talker you
  450. no I dont want to talk about it
  451. dangling by your participles
  452. onboreding
  453. benefit of the doubt
  454. the wisdom of ages
  455. can you do it
  456. bringing your career to the fore
  457. when less is more
  458. you snooze you lose
  459. who needs another policy
  460. youre right its a conspiracy
  461. princess talent ratio II
  462. give it up
  463. listening to crickets
  464. safe at home
  465. welcome to management are you ok
  466. luckily theyre only human
  467. please sir I want some more
  468. nobodys april fool
  469. when the lines are drawn
  470. youve gone too far this time
  471. retain your home ground advantage
  472. no news is good news right
  473. reactive gets a bum rap
  474. bow before me for i am your king
  475. not everybody gets it
  476. thinking outside the box
  477. proactivity isnt all upside
  478. beware the online doppelganger
  479. ready to blow
  480. accountability got it
  481. just get on the damn bus
  482. step 1 establish a baseline
  483. i really thought we had a connection
  484. i know ill do it
  485. never again
  486. whats your question
  487. do i look like the count from sesame street
  488. you should know better
  489. its your baggage not theirs
  490. dont mention the bunny
  491. fair share
  492. the value of work
  493. in your own words
  494. why Lean
  495. new brooms
  496. the trouble with internal promotions
  497. let me spell it out for you
  498. little leaders big leaders
  499. 1 FTE turns 500
  500. theres more to leadership than leading
  501. sign here here and here
  502. why people agree with you
  503. Compare and Contrast
  504. Dont beat yourself up
  505. the real value of persistence
  506. the death of think time
  507. if im paying its not about you
  508. theres no upside to perfection
  509. kotters leading change oh so now its urgent 1of 8
  510. stupid newfangled ideas
  511. why business loves the cloud
  512. why cloud is the future
  513. backed up lately
  514. we have a right to know
  515. just one more thing
  516. one for the old and jaded
  517. kotters leading change one team to rule them all 2of 8
  518. do you see a couch around here
  519. the pen is mightier for now
  520. updating equals intent probably
  521. youre a legend
  522. youre a legend man
  523. your time will come
  524. finding mr right
  525. lets talk bits bytes and rainbows
  526. cant you see im working here
  527. there is no paper trail
  528. kotters leading change are you reading me 3 of 8
  529. you re not all that Einstein
  530. well find you sooner or later
  531. the key message
  532. one very small map
  533. people over 30 work too
  534. kotters leading change have I got your attention 4 of 8
  535. so what are you telling me
  536. whats in a price
  537. thats not what i said
  538. arbitrary deadlines make me hate you a lot
  539. I cant believe I just said that
  540. aint no eagles in turkey town
  541. catching the leaving bug
  542. why succession planning usually falls short
  543. fishing for talent
  544. learning from your mistakes
  545. they know too much
  546. too explicit for you
  547. you need to do better than that
  548. not a people person
  549. thatll learn em
  550. so very many mondays
  551. would you hire 100 fte
  552. 200000 years without a timesheet
  553. what they really think of you
  554. have I got an opportunity for you
  555. your hangover your problem
  556. could office designers claim prior art against facebook
  557. youre such an enabler
  558. go on they wont bite
  559. 100 ftes halve and double test
  560. i swear youre wrong
  561. experience of a corporate lifetime
  562. what are they doing
  563. all in good time
  564. its a confidence game
  565. you give a little you get a little
  566. my best employee is that guy
  567. management is a different job not a summary
  568. who really knows
  569. scary little chats
  570. the politics of feedback
  571. beta isnt alpha
  572. we have only ourselves to blame
  573. its good advice but for who
  574. a complete guide to exit interviews
  575. sins of the past
  576. how long has it been since your last confession
  577. bully for you
  578. im so busy
  579. its not jargon if its your job
  580. you should have seen it coming
  581. productivity is the new black
  582. do good things come to those who wait
  583. from little things big things grow
  584. thanks for nothing harvard
  585. nice tie whats up
  586. friends are a plus
  587. quest for an empty nest
  588. nobody loves your children like you do seriously
  589. Business Idea of the Week
  590. picture perfect
  591. resetting the countdown clock
  592. how many FTEs does it take to change a lightbulb
  593. intentional corporate waste exposed
  594. sneak preview
  595. beware the devil workshoppers
  596. this is not the project youre looking for
  597. dont you have something to do
  598. cant budge it
  599. importance of the here and now
  600. helping with handovers
  601. Skills before Bills
  602. a perfect week
  603. 100 percent misleading
  604. chicken or egg corporate style
  605. how bad people get good jobs
  606. youve really done it now
  607. do you know what theyre doing
  608. they need help luckily
  609. if only youd helped
  610. never send a whiteboard to do a textbooks job
  611. how much is too much
  612. not everyone is listening
  613. some days
  614. what happens when you dont prepare for the interview
  615. being human can really suck
  616. some like to watch
  617. why IT doesnt rule the world
  618. i guarantee it
  619. highly paid professionals
  620. was your education worth it
  621. is everybody comfortable
  622. simple interview advice
  623. why industry experience matters
  624. for the greater good
  625. a problem shared
  626. even pictures have fine print
  627. sex
  628. standards arent
  629. means to an end
  630. recruitment is a matter of perspective
  631. calibre counts
  632. what makes a good consultant
  633. eternal sunshine of the technical mind
  634. boundaries people boundaries
  635. the upside to annual performance reviews
  636. the counter argument
  637. thanks for letting me know
  638. linkedin is lying to you
  639. why we have teams
  640. dont sweat the personality test
  641. my desk made me do it
  642. how much do you want
  643. im washing my hair that day
  644. how the hell are we going to explain this one
  645. the point of no return
  646. im not doing anything wrong
  647. bff is not a leadership style
  648. face value
  649. explaining the cycle of change
  650. cutting your losses
  651. well he started it
  652. room for one more
  653. please find the attached
  654. we are not bad people
  655. we are not a university
  656. people vs people who know how
  657. you wouldnt read about it
  658. it doesnt take much
  659. the downside to exceeding expectations
  660. Apple of their eye
  661. what sort of workman blames his tools
  662. are you ready for a corporate life
  663. what does your recruitment process say about you
  664. corporate social media training where do we start
  665. employment contracts are a good read
  666. be productive or die
  667. theres a reason theyre still trying
  668. we hired him really
  669. where have all the good people gone
  670. see you Monday
  671. a response to whats in it for me
  672. how to make an entrance
  673. padding and cutting
  674. next time call me
  675. the de smoke break
  676. which one looks like progress to you
  677. why you arent occupying our thoughts
  678. every hero needs a quest
  679. why everybody really loves Agile
  680. even if it kills us
  681. im following your stupid process what more do you want
  682. note to policy makers
  683. hello sunshine
  684. where do you think youre going with that
  685. fifty lashes for misplaced dashes
  686. Im pretty sure thats not what I said
  687. taking the Rough Estimation oath
  688. attrition needs an analysis not an abacus
  689. youll miss working with us wont you
  690. the awkward truth about process compliance
  691. your secret is out
  692. a lesson on interpreting net present value
  693. there is no reward for just effort
  694. who are we doing this for
  695. boundaries people boundaries part II
  696. why third place working works
  697. average thoughts on engagement
  698. why we really prefer internal candidates
  699. were all suffering for your art
  700. its a lovely story
  701. youre not the boss of me
  702. are people our greatest asset
  703. dont you have work to do
  704. it really is your greatest weakness
  705. has it really come to this
  706. the commutes not your problem
  707. you should hear what theyre saying about you
  708. more swamped than Shrek
  709. its a risky business
  710. why they wont make a decision
  711. too close for comfort
  712. taking career coaching to the next level
  713. why we train people really
  714. strengths or weaknesses where do you start
  715. death to the thank you letter
  716. transparency is a double edged sword
  717. enjoy the christmas party please
  718. twas the week before christmas
  719. how much can you take
  720. a thought for the holidays
  721. theres a reason peace and quiet go together
  722. inflexible work policies
  723. dont kitchen sink me
  724. trust me im accountable
  725. whos got the time
  726. what they mean when they say permission to fail
  727. we know what you did
  728. the personal assistant pact
  729. how to tell if youre the loud guy
  730. how to fast track your career without too much effort apparently
  731. why sopa will probably prevail despite the insanity
  732. the oxymoronic long term secondment
  733. unclear and present danger
  734. we need your desk
  735. why management exists
  736. decor is not your issue
  737. a pox on deemed acceptance
  738. its impossible to ignore a sexy statistic
  739. dont rain on my paradigm
  740. resumes gone wild
  741. looking for answers
  742. at least it makes sense to us
  743. why you cant depend on human nature
  744. where good ideas go to die
  745. a big surprise for the back office
  746. free lunch anyone
  747. theyre not my secrets to share
  748. so youre accountable good luck with that
  749. what sort of friend are you
  750. why they canned your great idea
  751. wheres your bucket
  752. imposter
  753. heres one we prepared earlier
  754. employees and social media is it time to take off the gag
  755. GFC a coming of age
  756. youll shut up if you know whats good for you
  757. sadly its not always about meme
  758. youre not just a number
  759. how to create the perfect org structure
  760. has change management had its day
  761. the interview question project managers fear most
  762. a strategy for mischief
  763. no career is written in the stars
  764. better than good
  765. say cheese
  766. tagged
  767. the height of rudeness
  768. you dont have a capacity problem
  769. the final word on career consulting
  770. i know thats what the consultant said but
  771. check mate
  772. recommended
  773. why external hires get paid more
  774. win win win win lose
  775. im cancelling my subscription to the drama channel
  776. what are you talking about gramps
  777. is human resources an oxymoron
  778. doing our bit
  779. workplace gamification time to level up
  780. change look it up
  781. size matters
  782. the secret corporate invisibility cloak
  783. gee thanks
  784. the trouble with dress codes
  785. tough news for project managers
  786. spoilt by choice
  787. the bigger the better
  788. have you read it yet
  789. thinking about a career in IT
  790. the dark side of employee referral programs
  791. got a match
  792. why good people cant get jobs tribute
  793. youve lost me
  794. personal achievement in a world of 7 billion people
  795. theres no question youre clever
  796. a decline in meetings
  797. engagement chicken or egg
  798. is Google employee of the month
  799. if a very busy tree falls in the forest
  800. a cloudy day for onefte
  801. A guide to sharing holiday photos at work
  802. youre not getting your TPS report today
  803. the fairy tale of workplace culture
  804. I have the power
  805. move along nothing to see here
  806. the incomprehensible truth about big data
  807. salespeople its not really common ground is it
  808. the real conspiracy behind work life balance
  809. do you own your point of view
  810. knockin on heavens door
  811. youre not giving her all shes got and dont call me Captain
  812. were really not that close
  813. when everybodys special
  814. How would IT run Marketing
  815. beyond TGIF
  816. how to use guilt to manage your training budget
  817. thanks for calling tech support how can you help me
  818. square peg you wish
  819. Monday
  820. work hard play elsewhere
  821. out of office
  822. onefte on a mission
  823. are non disclosure agreements a retention strategy
  824. Viva la Resolution
  825. Down the rabbit hole
  826. And you thought your performance review was all about your performance
  827. Farewell by Haiku
  828. Capability first
  829. Processes dont kill people
  830. get over yourself Buy the damned suit