One FTE – impressions of a corporate life

Category: Comic

  • curiosity killed the contractor

    original publish date: 22nd December, 2009

    decades on …

    Not my best work, but I think the two points I was trying to make are still largely valid, though the comic now seems … under-nuanced.

    Firstly, I still think the premium paid to contract staff still outweighs the redundancy compensation provisions for full-time employees. If anything, there’s less stability in fulltime employment now.

    That said, I did conveniently ignore the increased likelihood that the contractor would get booted.

    The second point I was trying to make was that the contractor should shut up about it. That one still holds.

    transcript

    Contractor: They pay you 40% less for the same work, right?

    FTE: Yes, but …

    Contractor: And they’re only required to pay you out two weeks’ salary for each year worked, or roughly 4%, right?

    FTE: Your point is?

    Contractor: Does that seem like a good deal to you?

    Closing caption: Contractors should learn to shut up.

  • Facebook faceplant

    original publish date: 21st December, 2009

    decades on …

    This one takes me back. It was a time when we actually used Facebook, and when Facebook was innocent enough for the Farmville app to be the issue.

    Simpler times, friends. Simpler times.

    I guess I was trying to point out that, in the (early) days of social media, it was better to separate personal from work.

    Still true, but now that’s a given, right? Right?

    And I know that ‘it’s complicated’ relates to relationship status, not employment. Although, LinkedIn, if you’re listening, it’s worth considering.

    transcript

    FTE: Hey, boss.. I’ve just sent you a Facebook request to join my co-op on Farmville.

    Manager: I would have preferred the report you owe me.

    Closing caption: Now might be the time to change your work status to “it’s complicated”.

  • contractor sabotage

    original publish date: 20th December, 2009

    decades on …

    This used to be such a thing. Laptops (and peripherals like screens and docking stations) were seen as a significant expense, and security frameworks struggled to consider nuanced access by outside agents.

    A decade and a half later, things seem a lot better, at least until you have to exchange large files. Then you might as well be faxing.

    transcript

    Contractor: You don’t provide computers to contractors and using my own laptop breaches your security policy. How can I do any work?

    Internal: That is not my problem, Hotshot.

    Closing caption: Ever wondered why your internal staff outperform (sic) your highly paid contractors?

  • performance review time

    original publish date: 12th December, 2009

    decades on …

    Ahh, the first comic. I wish I remembered why this was top of mind enough to be the ‘launch comic’.

    I’m not sure the last 17 years (17!) have seen any marked improvement in how performance reviews are done.

    At least there are fewer of us walking around with printouts.

    Progress, right?

    transcript

    Project Manager: No, your annoying interference on my project can not be recognised as a “significant contribution”.
    FTE: What if I stopped?
    Closing caption: Performance review time. Let the achievement padding begin.